I was standing at the registration table of a formal evening gala when a woman suddenly leaned in close behind me and whispered urgently, “I’m going to stand here so people can’t see so much.”
Startled, I turned around and nearly collided with her. She pointed down, and that’s when I realized my skirt was tucked into the waistband of my pantyhose—my entire backside was exposed! And, to make matters worse, I wasn’t wearing panties. Keep in mind, I was 64 at the time!
I had just walked down a long hall with my nearly bare backside on full display. Mortified doesn’t even begin to cover it. It felt like it took an eternity, but I managed to pull my skirt out of the waistband and sort myself out.
Feeling a mix of embarrassment and humor, I quipped to the woman, “Whew, that covers a multitude of sins.” She looked at me with confusion, perhaps disapproval—an older woman talking about “sins” involving her backside?
I thanked her profusely, and she reassured me it wasn’t so bad; there weren’t that many people there, and probably no one noticed. Right.
So, how did this happen?
It all began when I decided to change clothes in the elevator. Just after work, I raced home to switch into something more glamorous. I threw on pants over my pantyhose since it was winter and I had to walk a block in the snow. I neatly folded my beautiful new silver taffeta Joseph Ribkoff skirt, eager to show it off.
Once I got to the convention center, I had a bright (but bad) idea: I would change in the elevator to snag the best seat at our table, one that faced the stage. As the elevator doors closed, I quickly pulled my skirt from the bag, kicked off my boots, and pulled the skirt over my pants. In the chaos, I yanked off the pants and slipped into my low heels, just as the doors opened.
Feeling clever for saving time, I stepped out of the elevator—only to realize the mishap that would follow.
At first, I thought about leaving the gala, but I decided to put on a brave face. After all, my employers had given me the ticket, and there was food and entertainment to enjoy!
When I finally shared the story with one of my coworkers, she asked, “Did you know anyone who saw you?”
“No,” I replied.
“So who cares?” she said, and that was the attitude I tried to embrace.
In the end, we all have our embarrassing moments. Whether it’s a wardrobe malfunction or a silly slip-up, it’s important to laugh it off and keep going. So, here’s to embracing life—cellulite and all!
